Chapter 17

She was getting scruffy again, she could feel it. And she was dirtier than she could remember ever being in her life. She couldn’t remember the last time she bathed, and she knew from the way people avoided her that she smelled really bad. She couldn’t think what to do, though. Her job at the ranch was out in the middle of nowhere, she didn’t have a clue where she was, and all she could do to maintain herself was to buy food at the ragged gas station at the bottom of the hill. More than half her pay went to meager meals and cigarettes.

On the plus side, she’d discovered cigarettes. They were strangely comforting. They made her feel calm again, and she liked it. Every day she could reward herself with a job well done by smoking a few cigarettes, eating a nasty gas station hot dog, and washing it down with a soda pop. She was feeling abnormally skinny, and she certainly wasn’t as well-fed as she had been at the hospital. She couldn’t understand while the television shows always made fun of hospital food; it seemed quite delectable compared with her current fare.

She pulled the wadded bills out of her pocket and smoothed them all on the ground in front of her. She counted, and tried to figure out how many more days it would take to get her a room somewhere so she wouldn’t have to sleep in the orchard anymore. With only a hundred dollars in her pocket, she knew she wouldn’t get far. She knew her mother couldn’t find her now. She was beginning to get used to the beard, and she knew the self-made disguise would hide her for a while. She wondered if her mother would recognize her at all now.

She rolled the money together and put it back in her jeans pocket. She leaned back against the tree trunk and wondered, as she did every night, what ShayAnne was doing. She hoped her friend was well, and that she was having a happy life. She hadn’t meant to scare the redhead at all, and she felt bad that she had. She wanted to see her again. No matter the risk, Mila wanted to see her friend again, to know how she was doing. Then and there she made a new goal for herself. She would save her money, and she would go back to Jasmine Falls and find her friend. She didn’t have to talk to her, she could just watch her from the cherry trees outside their house. She just wanted to know if ShayAnne was all right.

She convinced herself it was okay to do so, and that no one would see her, and no one would catch her. She would be careful, very careful. She smiled to herself as she worked it out in her mind.

She would work here seven more days, and at the end of that week, she would take whatever money she had and begin her journey back to Jasmine Falls. It would be too risky to stay at the lantern again, but the stables at the Hawke Ranch were equipped with sinks and running water, so she could clean herself there a little after everyone had gone to bed. She would be quiet, and be very careful not to get caught. In the morning she would hide in the trees and watch for ShayAnne to walk outside and get in her jeep. Then she would know that her friend was all right. Certainly if she was well enough to drive, she was as well as she could be.

Mila pondered her plan and missed her friend, and sat under the stars smoking a cigarette. She felt strangely happy, as though something in her chest was keeping her afloat in a calm sea. The realization that it was freedom from her mother was almost startling. She smiled at the sky, and willed herself to bide her time.