Chapter 16

“Marquisa Dublin,” the professor said, startling her out of her trance. She tore her eyes away from the glaring red F on her exam paper and looked up at the woman slowly. The instructor motioned for her to come down; class was over and the rest of the students were filing out of the room in clumps. Marqi forced her lead-filled legs to carry her down the steps of the lecture room to the front near the blackboard. The professor waited until the last student had meandered from the room before she spoke. “I wanted to talk to you about your grade, but I haven’t got much time this afternoon. Can you walk with me back to my office?”

Marqi nodded numbly at Professor Browne and stumbled after the woman as they crossed the grounds outside the lecture hall and made their way up the staircase to the row of offices on the second floor of the opposite building. Inside Browne’s office, Marqi took a seat and watched the woman open an overflowing file cabinet and extract a few papers.

“These are your last three assignments,” she announced. “Your grades have been steadily going downhill; this isn’t like you. What’s going on?”

“N-nothing,” Marqi said uneasily, staring at her papers in shock. The red marks stung like a slap on the face and it was all she could do not to cry in shame.

Browne seated herself in the aging swivel chair and considered her student. “Economics is something that seemed to come naturally to you last semester; why are you having so much trouble now? Lack of focus?”

Marqi shook her head, and Browne sighed. “It’s a guy, isn’t it? I can always tell. Some of my best female students just... it’s like you see him, and nothing else in the world matters. Well, this is your life, and no guy can live it for you. What’s going to happen when Prince Charming turns back into a frog? You’re going to be left to pick up pieces you’ll wish you hadn’t dropped.”

She leaned forward concernedly and said, “Marqi, the add/drop period ends on Wednesday. I’m advising you to drop.”

“What?!” Marqi exclaimed, taken aback. “I can’t drop! I... my scholarship... I have to keep a full load or I lose it.”

“Well, what about your grade point average?” Browne asked. “Won’t you lose your scholarship if you fail this class?”

“I won’t fail it,” Marqi said desperately, “I can’t.”

“Honey, you already are,” she tried to say it gently, but it still felt harsh to Marqi.

“No,” she shook her head.

“Yes,” Browne insisted. “I’m afraid that unless you can ace the next four assignments and the final three exams, you are going to fail this class. At best all you can hope for is a high C, and that’s if you pull A’s on the other assignments.”

Oh, shit, Marqi thought. She hadn’t realized how serious her situation was. “Wha... a C? I can’t...”

Her brain already knew she was pulling down B’s and C’s in her other classes; her GPA was doing a swan dive before her eyes, and her scholarship would soon follow if she couldn’t turn things around.

“Oh, God,” she said softly. She slumped in the straight-backed wooden chair and it did nothing to support or comfort her. She felt bad asking, but she knew this was no time to put pride before anything else. “Extra credit?”

Browne pursed her lips a moment, then said, “Only if you can show me that you’re serious about turning this around. I don’t like watching my students self-destruct.”

Marqi nodded. “Okay. I’m serious.”

“We’ll see,” Browne said. “You get an A on your next assignment, and I’ll consider the extra credit. For now, if you intend to stay in the class, I suggest you go and study.”

“Right,” Marqi said nervously, somehow managing to stand on shaky stems. She collected her things and wobbled out of the office with Browne’s eye upon her. She got all the way back to her dorm before the tears started.

Oh, God, she thought to herself, I’m really, truly screwing up my life. And for what? Am I seriously going to throw away college and a secure future for Dennis? She felt like an idiot, and not just because of the glaring red F on her paper. She took a deep breath as she unlocked the door to her room and shut herself safely inside it. She blew her nose and wiped away the tear tracks from her cheeks as she tried to streamline her thoughts. She just had to focus. No more weekends playing around with him at his mansion. She had to study hard now, and she couldn’t allow herself to get distracted.

Professor Browne was right; where would Dennis be a few years from now? He’d be onto a fresh model, and she’d be back at square one, only with no scholarship and no education. She couldn’t let that happen.

“Focus,” she told herself, going to her desk. She sat down and opened her textbook. She would read all night if she had to, but she wasn’t leaving this room until she knew the subject of the next exam backward and forward. She wasn’t going to let him dictate her life; she was going to go with the plan she’d had since she was seven.

She picked up her pen and began.